Guitar Hero? No. More like guitar lackluster soldier who gets killed right away

Oh man. So I've played guitar hero now. And am terrible at it. Not completely unlike normal guitar. Who knew?

Also, have you ever listened to Portishead? oh man, they are so awesome. You should probably go buy or download (but not from iTunes, the musicplatz who is 100% evil) their self titled or "Dummy". Oh man. Not enough positive adjectives. Radiohead comparisons, go!

K, their music kind of sounds like "I might be Wrong" on heroin. Which is pretty spectacular, especially when not-sober. Minimalist drum machines with pianos and turntable samples, and the especially beautiful vocals of Beth Gibbons.

Go listen. Turn out all your lights. Lie down on your bed, headphones over your ears. Close your eyes and embrace the sweet sweet music that is Portishead.


(this isn't going on my MOG because portishead is kind of old news, but I only discovered them recently)

Translated from Portuguese (pardon any understanding difficulties)

1) CLEARING UP
Before I start, I would like to clarify a bit the general attitude of this album, an operetta about the woman situation.
It is not a feminist work. Though it is not a machoist CD, it is, at least, "masculinist": It calls man's attention to the huge disadvantage he has created in his present relationship with women.
A woman, nowadays, is slightly suspicious and cannot permit herself the easy-going kind of well-being of companionship that allows going from affection to a caress.
Women have incorporated a feeling of mistrust towards men. She is always tense, worried, confronted with a potential enemy, an attitude created due to the psychological context of his situation in the society.
Notice that (in English language-- I see this sound-example because I speak Portuguese) when a child-that-will-be-a-man is born, he is like a sun arriving; the word "son" is pronounced the same way as "sun." It means joy, happiness. But when a child of female sex is born, the ugly sound of the noun "daughter" is just grief and sadness. A daughter is born.

2) AS THE RESULT
The result is a bad thing for men because, if it is impossible for a woman to show the profound intimacy of the sacred secret, and she is never willing to feel in the presence of the man, he stays in a cosmic solitude, without companionship in the Universe.

In Europe they told me that the female situation was the same as the situation in Brasil. Perhaps a bit more sophisticated, more concealed. In the United States, if the woman question has been completely resolved, if the relationships between men and women are solved, for the good of mankind, then in the case of considering this record, it will simply be like receiving News of the Barbarian World.

3) HOMELESS, BEGGAR
The clothing the band wears for the shows for the album Estudando o Pagode-Segregamulher e Amor is a beggar's costume. This depicts the actual situation of man in relation to woman: he became homeless, a being that lives in want of affection. And the women are quite right not to give it.


---
from a Pitchfork interview

Just something I thought was amazingly deep.
SB

Jasslagiô? What's icelandic for completely unintentional ripoff song?

So I wrote a jazzy-type song a few weeks back, all instrumental, and just bare-bones and the chord progression was this:
Em7 B7 CM7 Cm6 G D7addb9
except with a midpart and the last D dropped on the last verse (because it is the fifth of the root and means we keep going in the song).
topping it all off, it was named after the partner that dies right away in "The Maltese Falcon" [btw, completely rad book], Miles Archer (oops spoilers). Anyhow.

Then I go three weeks later and start listening to "Pablo Honey" by Radiohead and on a whim, decide to look up the chords to "Creep". Oh shit son.

G B C Cm

I added one extra note to each and gave it a two bar resolving phrase. Without having ever realised it was that song. Fuck, indeed.

Rad

Amazing what passes for extreme nowadays

I rarely (oh ok, frequently) find material that I like and think to my self, "I have to re-blog this".
So go here.

I moved

And don't have any real news.
Stay tuned kids.

Fearmongering

Speaking about the speed of sound....

Today I blogged on my Mog (my Music-Blog) about the new Mogwai LP (and what a long LP it is). No sooner had it informed me that my Mogpost was updated than I received a message from Google Desktop- Someone had just commented on my note regarding Mogwai's Zidane: A 21st Century Portrait.

From posted to commented. Less than a minute.

This is where you begin to wonder how fast you really want your internet connection.

Record reviews at the speed of sound!

Scissor Sisters: "Ta-Dah!"

I wasn't aware anyone but Queen could put out Queen B-Sides. 7.6




















Ratatat: "Classics"

This is what happens when you snort cocaine while playing Super Nintendo. 8.1




















Malajube: "Tromp L'Oeil"

This is the absolutely beautiful girl that sits next to you in science class who asks you all the answers and then you get all flustered and can't talk. 9.7




















Tortoise: "Millions Now Living Will Never Die"

Fucking Terrible. 1.2

For more rantings and ravings on music, check yourself out my Mog.

Five alive

Hooray for sucking at minesweeper!

HISTORY!!!

I posted this on my faceblog:
Hey everyone you know the drill.




Okay that should be all that the newsfeed reads of this. Remember, assholes, there is more to facebook notes than copying and pasting things your grandma sent you in an email that had eight signatures from being forwarded so many times and at the bottom said, "Do You Yahoo? Yahoo mail- 2GB of space".

Seriously.

What the fuck.

And you know, it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't REPOSTED every fucking day by a new person.

Of course now, someone is going to make a group about how they hate that memories note.

Which of course, prompted comments.
Like:

Paul S wrote
at 7:45pm
hey remeber when you didn't metablog? Good memories.

I'm gonna go write a meta-meta-note about this note now!

To which I replied on AIM:

notsambinder: metablogging is an art i am only partially familiar with
notsambinder: but since it lacks a figurehead, I thought I might fill in for a while
Acidmonkey5000: i think i just made up that word
Acidmonkey5000: so you can have first dibs on it
notsambinder: oh
notsambinder: in that case, dibs

And that is how I became the figurehead of Metablogging. Let it be known in the annals of History.

###EDIT

[19:51] Acidmonkey5000: oh wait
[19:51] notsambinder: uh oh
[19:51] notsambinder: no
[19:51] notsambinder: save it
[19:51] notsambinder: i am blogging about this first
[19:51] Acidmonkey5000: so im on technorati
[19:51] notsambinder: no!
[19:52] notsambinder: no!!!!!!
[19:52] Acidmonkey5000: and 2638 blog posts are tagged "metablogging"
[19:52] notsambinder: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[19:53] Acidmonkey5000: 4 posts were tagged today
[19:54] notsambinder: fuck

And that is how I stopped being the figurehead of Metablogging. Let it be known in the annals of history.

Attaining Blog Nirvana in the Blog Dojo of WuTang Mountain: Shark Jumping

It's official, kids, the GOP has jumped the shark.

You can't make stuff more ridiculous than this, folks.

Bitch about it why don't you

I read this in my facebook news feed and took a screen shot.



Who advertises that stuff on facebook?

TWO DAYS LATE: FRIDAY FACTS

LIGHT SPEED

Light travels really fast- 186,281 miles per second- much faster than we need it to. It turns out most of the time we only need light to travel thirty-five miles per hour, the same speed as a Dodge Neon.

One more for the road

Read.

Sorry Toyota. That's just fucking creepy.

Clarification

Whoa buddy. That was a hella nasty comment. My point is this.

Within a group system, the more people involved, the less anyones opinion matters (want a real life example? Wikipedia. [bitch]). Everyman for himself is a valid outlook, but when you consider that things can be done as a group to be more productive, a more Nashian outlook arises (that is, everyone does what is best for the group AND themselves). It used to be someone (Springer? for some reason that name comes to mind) taught us the outlook 'Do what is best for the group'. The error with that is there is no individual satisfaction unless the individual has the exact same ideals as the group. Since the group is made of people, who will have minutely different opinions, the groups ideals will be off of an individuals ideals proportionately to the number of people in the group. Also, if a person is attempting to become happy through a group that does not match their ideals, they should start their own or accept being alone in their opinion. When the individuals desires are undermined, it is the gravest transgression.

Also, I am saying it is alright for man to do things as an end for himself. I.E., if man wants to create and the only person who will profit from it/is affected by it is himself, it is not a crime. People think they must always do things for a purpose, for a group, for whatever. Nonsense. Do things outside of a group. Think independantly.

Lastly, Dogma, Religion, and preaching. Dogma is terrible. The most distracting and terrible thing put out by groups. By following strictly the dogma of a group, you are not following the group at all [unless the groups purpose is to follow a bunch of dogma, which, having no context for the dogma existing, is utterly pointless*].
Religion should be practised, but it should completely overcome your life, to the point where every single thing you do is a method of showing your devotion to your religion. If it cannot be done that way, why practise it?
Also, any group you belong to, you should never preach their beliefs or dogma. By doing so you insult the people around you by implying that their beliefs are inferior and that yours should be adopted, but this contraveys their individualist nature. One must respect everyone elses opinions about things, no matter what they are, and hope that in time, the ones you disagree with change.

I lied about that lastly. Nationalism quickly devolves into fascism. That was the point I was making in the last blog that wasn't a YouTube post. I did not mean any disrespect towards people who believe heavily in the group minded Communism, but it is rather undeniable that they had issues implimenting it.
Have a great weekend the internet.

[*actually, the only type that should ever practise a dogma without context is the nihilist, as the practising is completely pointless, it is a perfect reflection of life itself. However this should be rather impossible/very improbable, as, since a nihilist believes in nothing, dogma certainly falls out of the question.]

truly the height of internet comedy.

Six Degrees of Polit-faking

Know what's really really really (xabout1,000,000,000) rad? Realising that the communism we fought so hard against in the 50's through 80's, which was kept fascist [the real thing we were fighting against, btw- socialism+heavy industry=communism, according to Lenin. We're pretty much there right now] through intense campaigns of NATIONALISM.

Nationalism or patriotism (whichever you call it, it is the same thing) devolves pretty quickly into fascism under UNCAREFUL heads of state. And because Fascism promotes group ideals, rather than individualism and objectivism, it should never be promoted by an individual. Fanatic following of dogma of ANY KIND can influence others. Once it becomes group minded, rather than individually minded, it does things in GLORY of the GROUP [fascism].

However, in order for this philosophy to spread, it must go through a group process, although it should not be preached. Preaching is encroaching other's rights to opinions, and beliefs. Doing that is like slapping them on the hand for something not wrong. They will wonder why they are being yelled at and snap back.

Sorry if this offends you in any way.

The War on Aggression

Today I was pretty bummed. Dana/Anna/Sadie (the fun/talkative barristas at rock island) were only working until 6.30 (actually, Dana was working, Anna was providing drunk-antics). So, bummed out, I went to everyyuppie's favorite bookshop, Barnes and Noble. $90 worth of shopping therapy later, I found out that shopping therapy doesn't really do much for me.

On the plus side, I pretty much have the whole Ayn Rand library to show for it.

Transcending Verbiage

I think I want to start throwing around the word "transcending" a bit more.
Like, for instance, describing actors:

"Yea, Jim Carrey has totally transcended his early roles."

or food:

"Oh man, that taco totally transcended my hunger."

Or self-refrencing:

"Oh man, I totally just transcended blogging."


In other news, I clearly don't know what transcending means.

Wow

It is eight o'clock on a thursday. There are no females with their AIM status set to "Available". They all have away messages mentioning "Grey's Anatomy".

Television =prettymuch= drugs

You know, lately I have been slightly disappointed by LOST. I mean, it is still a great show and everything, but the episodes seemed too... normal. Too resolving [which is especially funny, when you consider the show still has mysteries unsolved from its FIRST EPISODE]. Then I thought back and realized the first episodes of every season of LOST have been very television-y. A problem resolved quickly in just 42 minutes, from beginning to end! Wow!. No. Television in that format is absolute shite because it reflects very little of life. The reason why LOST is so damn popular is because there are Season-(or Multi-season-)long mysteries. It’s part of life to have unanswered questions. The reason why the sitcom was doomed to fail was because of too much conclusion. That and Seinfeld quit.

Anyhow, anyone see the sneak peek for next weeks ep? Looks like I’m right about Sawyer getting killed so far...

My French is Terrible!

I like it. I think I will purchase their cd should I be given that opportunity.

It over takes me

I had a blog I was going to post.
Something about one of my screen names (Capn Howdy, after the infamous CaptainHowdy) and break fast cereal.

Oh well.

Original Material? What?

Hey, what up the intertubes, how are things? How is the wife? A diphtheria scare? you don't say. Is diphtheria a word? Let's ask your shoulder, mr wikipedia. It is. crazy. How did I know it was a word?

Not sure.
Anyhow.
Back from Attention Deficit Disorderland.

I'm bloggin' at you LIVE from the open mic night at rock island cafe- Not because I am using the house computer or someone's laptop, oh no. I am using my computer, which I simply neglected to remove from the Buix. I don't really know why you are here- there are better places to read about people obsessing about LOST- (prediction: Sawyer dies in episode six this season)- and better places for people to repost crap they found on other blogs. Odds are, you are one of the three people who read this. So hey, Kyle, Paul and Nicki. How's it going? Paul, log on to AIM more, I need to ramble at you outside of a blog setting.

Wait, I thought we weren't going back to ADDland.

K.

Well, I recorded yesterday. For most of the day, in fact. So much so that I got a small hangover from the nicotine and caffeine. Not fun. Not really a great time.

To tell you the truth, intertubes, I miss RMA divided. When I was with Paul and Nick, we could jam about anything.

---

I finished East of Eden today. I'm pretty much angry that Oprah picked it, because now I cannot dissociate the book from soccer moms. So fuck oprah. Pretty much the best book I've read in a while- better than the Curious Incident of the yadda yadda yadda and either of the crime novels. The ending almost seemed cliche though- probably because people can rip off Steinbeck now that he's dead.
Whatever.

---

Also, I recorded more songs with the Velcro Telephone. They are here. Go listen. Fuckers.

Organ, Organ

The easiest blogs to write are the ones I don't have to

[19:49] the nicki 01: i still havent found a good dress
[19:49] notsambinder: oh noes!
[19:50] the nicki 01: yeah! im having issues. all the thrift stores around here lack dresses
[19:50] the nicki 01: so i might have to compromise
[19:50] notsambinder: or make you own
[19:51] notsambinder: you'd be like Betsy Ross
[19:51] notsambinder: or something
[19:51] the nicki 01: ha yeah right. i can cook, and sew stuff back together
[19:54] notsambinder: i can sew stuff together
[19:54] notsambinder: and make drum mallets
[19:55] notsambinder: that's about it for my June Cleaver talents
[19:55] the nicki 01: oh id be a good June...except i cant make dresses.
[19:55] notsambinder: I'd be so terrible as June
[19:55] notsambinder: I'd be like, Wally! Beaver! come get some burnt frozen pizza!
[19:56] the nicki 01: hahahaha yeah. half burnt and half frozen
[19:56] notsambinder: All vaccuuming in my pearls
[19:56] notsambinder: and then trip over the vaccuum cord
[19:56] the nicki 01: with the wrapper still on
[19:56] notsambinder: and get all pissed and start cussing at the vaccuum
[19:56] notsambinder: "you stupid fucking mechanical contraption!"

Girls are Pretty

In the back of every Sprint/Nextel store you’ll find about ten girls under the age of fifteen who have either been kidnapped or sold into prostitution. No one wants to do anything about it though because they all still have eight months left in their contracts. Also, Sprint/Nextel representatives have no qualms about locking the girls in the building and setting the place on fire anytime it looks like the police or a vigilante is about to bust in and try to set the girls free. It’s how they were trained, so you’re going to have to be sneaky about this.

Go into the Sprint store pretending to be an ordinary customer. Just say, “Everything about the service you provide is terrible and you don’t seem to know anything about how telephones work.” No one ever walks into a Sprint/Nextel store without saying this verbatim, so make sure to memorize it. The Sprint/Nextel representative will offer to replace your terrible phone with one that’s worse. That’s when you should fire your rifle into the ceiling. Don’t bother taking the representative hostage in exchange for the girls. Sprint/Nextel cares as little about the people who make them money selling phones as they do about the girls who make them money as enslaved prostitutes.

Aim your rifle at the other Sprint/Nextel representatives. They’ll beg that you kill them because once a Sprint/Nextel retail branch is compromised by a vigilante, death is far more palatable than the punishment that Sprint/Nextel will unleash on their employees. Grab the nearest rep and yank the key to the back from around his neck, then burst through the doors to storeroom/makeshift brothel.

You’ll see a few shelves of terrible phones and a narrow row of cots supporting enslaved teenage girls underneath obese tourists still wearing their Izod shirts but without any shorts to tuck them into. One of the Sprint/Nextel representatives keeping watch over the girls will grab some matches to try to set the store on fire with everyone inside. Grab the cooler full of ice (for sodas and bruises) and unload it on the rep and his matches. The other Sprint/Nextel reps will beg that you shoot them, screaming, “Sprint/Nextel made us do it. They make lots of money from selling terrible phones, but they keep this human trafficking ring going just for fun! Sprint/Nextel just wants to see which they’re better at, telecommunications or human trafficking! You don’t know what they’ll do to us when they find out that we allowed the innocent teenage girls Sprint/Nextel enslaved to be rescued. Please kill us!”

Don’t kill them. Just start rolling the pants-less obese tourists off of the girls and get the girls dressed. Then lead them in a single file line out the store, which might already be on fire so be careful. Once you’re free, you and the girls have to get someplace where Sprint/Nextel doesn’t provide service, which will probably take about ten minutes to find. They can’t track you if they’re forced to go analog.

But stay hidden. Sprint/Nextel will make it their priority to hunt you down and make you pay. Sprint/Nextel loves forcing teenage girls into prostitution (it makes Sprint/Nextel feel young, like T-Mobile) and they can’t stand when someone gets in their way. You don’t know what Sprint/Nextel is capable of, but it’s not running a phone company if you get my drift (it’s human trafficking, torture, and maiming the spirit of a consumer society).
Happy Go To Your Nearest Sprint/Nextel Store And Bust Up A Human Trafficking Ring Day!

Girls are Pretty link available on the Sidebar.

I love you google and wish you worked this way

Fuzz Pedals in my eyes

Wow blogging drunk is fun. I'm actually pretty impressed with my typing prowess at this point. What could be better/more entirely pathetic than drinking Vodka, listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs [who use hella omnichords] and drinking vodka, and blogging. Wow. yea. roxxor8. bidjez. How this is working:

I.....M.....V

where I and V are either my speakers or my beverages (if the second instance is correct, then they are as follows: I= Dr Pepper, V= Dr Pepper + UV Blue [tastes like toothpaste, aquafresh to be exact], if the first is correct then I = right channelk [not working right {loose cord}] and V= subwoofer and left channel)

So yea. Radzorz.
I have already started IM conversations with people I haven't talked to in forever and a day. I have also commented on way old Ex-girlfirends walls that I haven't seen in forever on faceboox. I wish it were plural. that would rock pretty hard. When the proportions of UV and Dr Pepper are near equal, the liquid takes on a really not kosher or natural or healthy gray color.
Now, when people who are familiar with my writing [read: probably only me] read that last passage, they will notice I said "gray". This is pretty crazy since I genereally prefer brit spellings on words like grey and colour. That is because the color it turned is the same unnaturallity as using the word gray. the same unpleasant. a little more burny than the word gray. and generally delicious, despite the colour. I am all over the place here. wow.

Oh right, this is what I am supposed to be bloggin' 'bout. (apostropheez!)- I bought the new Scissor Sisters CD today- I actually went to Best Buy [which doesn't usually have the best buy] and bought it and the free EP that came with it (which is more of a glorified single, just the single and the remixxxxxxxxorz) but am afraid to listen to it because I am scared it is a Beegees CD [or the Brother Gibb, to those unfamiliar with the post 197whenever term for them] in disguise. In other words, I am afraid of turning into my mother as far as musical taste goes.

Although I suppose the Beegees did make some decent dance music. maybe I am being a pussy. maybe I am lazy. Maybe I am drunxxor'd. Maybe I just have to use el baño. Maybe I am still sober enough to type and use the alt-164 on the bano effect. Maybe I need to stop blogging soon.\

Ah fuck go listen to Cloud Cult. I gots the crapal tunnel and the bad bladder.

Just a link

Wow a blogreview that is not mine.
Actually, it's pretty rad.
it is here.

A special "Haldo!" to all you other members of the ELITE COMMENT STRIKE-FORCE of Cockeyed.com that are visiting here. Read the archives. And click links on the side bar. And don't forget to rinse the scroll bar when you are done. Who knows where that's been.

Help I am trapped in a Cliche factory

I write emails to myself that have blogs in them from work. here is one from last week.
-

It’s that time again. Time when all the fuckin’ bees die off. Time when your skin totally dries out and you get nosebleeds from the lack of humidity. Time to get out the coats and sweaters. I need more sweaters.

If you weren’t aware of the bee situation (I don’t think I blogged about it, and I’m reasonably certain I didn’t tell many people about it), it is that there is a wasps nest outside my window. The window that I really like to have open. So I haven’t had that open all summer. Annoying. But I’ll live. The coming frost will kill off any bees that dare attack my screen. Also, yellowjackets that land in my coffee. g'damn.
(Right now, I can hear the internet whining that bees and wasps are two separate things and that they aren’t sure which I mean. If I meant the traditional “bees”, I’d say “yellowjackets”. Bees is just a catchall term for things that fly and sting me.)
I saw three dead birds almost in a pile today at work. They were out on the lawn. They looked very cold. And dead.
I don’t think I am going to Steven’s Point for trivia this year- one, I don’t like spending that much time with my parents, two, I like being able to record music at home, and with my parents gone, I will be able to record stuff. It’s pretty magical, honestly. But trivia is still a long ways away and I have time to decide whether I want to do that or not.
See, these blogs are always kind of annoying to me because they offer no segue between topics. Regardless, I write them one after another.
I realized the other day that huffing and smoking are pretty much the same thing, only one is solely for tobacco. Now I say, “I’m gonna go huff some tobacco” instead of “I’m gonna go smoke.” It’s pretty awesome.
See what I said about no lead-ins from previous topics? So annoying.
Also, I am pretty angry at dust. And headaches. And toothaches. Monday and Tuesday I stayed home from work. Pretty much slept the entire time. Good sleep, but annoying in that my ears hurt so bad I couldn’t balance. Got lots of catch-up time with my webcomics and friends that are only on AIM when I am working.

Wow. That was a pretty annoying blog, if I do say so myself. Leave comments. Assholes.

Droppin' off the face of Google Earth

Wow. Hey internetron. haven't talked with you in a while. How are you? good, glad to hear it. Sit down.
You might be wondering why I called you in to talk. It is because I have an IManecdote to share. listen.


[18:02] NotSamBinder: hey
[18:02] Even19: hey whats up?
[18:03] NotSamBinder: not too much
[18:03] NotSamBinder: you?
[18:03] Even19: um..just writing a paper
[18:03] NotSamBinder: oh fun
[18:03] NotSamBinder: what class?
[18:03] Even19: education
[18:04] NotSamBinder: in my mind,
[18:04] NotSamBinder: right the instant I read what you put
[18:04] NotSamBinder: an abbot and costello routine was born
[18:04] Even19: haha what?
[18:04] NotSamBinder: it was awesome
[18:05] NotSamBinder: I would be like, "yea, I know it's for education, but what class is it for?"
[18:05] Even19: hahaha
[18:05] NotSamBinder: and it would go on for like, a half hour longer than necessary


Also, I have a new track for you to hear. Listen (for real, not just reading).